Have a Little Faith in Me Read online

  “You let me ease your pain…open your heart, and have a little faith in me. You make up an excuse for not answering your pages and no one finds out about this. We live happily ever after…”

  She finally made eye contact and the emotions he saw in her blue eyes made his chest ache.

  “You forgive me and we fall in love.”

  Hell, he’d already been halfway in love with her before they wound up in bed. She stirred long-repressed needs and emotions, but he wasn’t sure he could trust her after this, even if things turned out as she predicted. Still, something existed between them and he couldn’t just toss it away without exploring it first.

  His heart softened. Darius shouldn’t feel any compassion for her, but he did. The stuff about why she did this may be truth or fiction, but she believed it and the strain on her was obvious. He’d probably regret it later, but he couldn’t be mean to her. Hell, he was a doctor. He couldn’t ignore her fatigued condition.

  “Jesus, Andi. You look like you’re going to pass out. Come up here and lie down.”

  She shucked the robe and crawled up next to him, settling in against his side. “You’ve never called me Andi before.”

  He tried to come up with a response but failed. She was a beautiful woman and calling her by a masculine nickname went against the grain. Regardless of everything that had transpired, he cared for her deeply.

  He was spared from answering when her breathing slowed, indicating she’d fallen asleep.

  Chapter Five

  Andi woke to the steady beat of Darius’ heart echoing in her head. She felt content and happy lying curled around him until she realized their time together would soon end. Judging by the shadows starting to form in the corners of the room, the sun was going down. Soon she’d set him free and likely never be in his arms again. Yesterday she’d been blissfully unaware of how much that would hurt. Today her heart ached and her body yearned. There was so much she still wanted to share with him, so many things they’d yet to try.

  Her gaze drifted down his muscular body. She longed to spend hours learning him, memorizing every inch. She wanted to hear his sounds of passion, watch ecstasy fill his handsome face, bottle his heady scent, touch all his sensitive spots and taste him. More than anything, she regretted not having pleasured him with her mouth.

  Even lying flaccid along his thigh, his cock was impressive. Careful not to wake him, she moved lower to get a closer look. The smooth skin of his shaft matched the color of the imported dark chocolate Andi had stashed in her locker at work. From the point where he’d been circumcised and over the crown his cock was a lighter, dusky shade of brown in its relaxed state. When he’d been erect and his cock filled with blood the tip had reddened.

  She traced the circuitous path of a plump vein with the tips of her fingers from his thick root to the prominent ridge surrounding his glans, gratified the light touch made him swell. Returning to his base, she took the same path, only this time with her tongue. The tangy, slightly saline flavor of his skin had her mouth watering for more.

  Darius shifted in his sleep as she slid into the space between his legs. With the tip of her tongue, she licked his plum-shaped crown as if it were a lollipop and lapped up the drops of salty fluid that formed at his slit. Andi watched his face and sucked just the head into her mouth. He groaned and tried to shift his legs. She gave a light suck and his eyes popped open, his hungry gaze locking on hers.

  After making another circuit around the crown with her tongue, she sucked in more of his length, humming her appreciation. She breathed in his musky scent, filling her lungs with him.

  “Mmm…what a way to wake up. That feels so good, honey.”

  She sucked harder, taking as much of his length as she could manage. The remainder, she stroked with silky tendrils of her hair. With her free hand, she reached between his legs to gently massage his balls.

  “So good, honey,” he praised in a guttural tone.

  Wanting to make it last, she set a slow pace. Darius rolled his hips, matching her easy rhythm and never breaking eye contact while she ate at him, imagining how his dark cock would look as it disappeared between her pink lips.

  His pleasure ignited a fire in her. Andi’s skin grew tight and hot. Her nipples puckered, the hard points aching to be touched. Cream slicked her swollen pussy and trickled down to coat her thighs.

  Dying for a taste of him, she increased her efforts. Darius pulled at the headboard and she knew he longed to sink his fingers in her hair, guiding her movements.

  “Oh God, yes. Suck me harder.”

  She did, and was rewarded with his increased moans. His hips began to lift as he thrust into her mouth, pushing a little farther into her throat. Her jaw started to tire and became fatigued and she only sucked him harder, faster, starving for his taste.

  “Andreana, I’m close,” he warned.

  Relaxing her throat with his next thrust, she took him to the root. Darius tossed his head back, tendons standing out along the thick column of his neck. He shouted her name as his cock jerked and hot streams of cum hit the back of her tongue. She swallowed greedily, the constriction of her throat extending his climax. After drinking down every drop, she continued to suckle and lick, gentling him.

  He yanked at the ties, rattling the headboard and sighed in frustration. “Jesus, honey. I need to hold you.”

  She kissed her way up his torso, sifting his chest hair between her fingers and placed a tender kiss on his lips before curling into his side. The shadows grew longer as she absently brushed her fingers over the ridges of his washboard abdomen.

  “Andreana.”

  At the sound of his voice, she tilted her head to meet his gaze.

  “I need to be in you, honey. Hurry, there’s still time.”

  Without a word she lifted to straddle his hips. Taking his renewed erection within her hand, she pumped him a few times before fitting him to her opening and sliding down to sheathe him. The position made him seem bigger and Andi reveled in how it felt to hold him in her body.

  She rose over Darius and the drag of her clit along his hard length caused her breath to escape on a long hiss. When only his crown remained within her, Andi paused, met his gaze then slid back down, taking him even deeper. So deep she couldn’t tell where one started and the other ended. “Oh yes!”

  Damn it felt good. Very good. But she longed to establish a stronger, more intimate connection. Needed his kiss.

  Leaning into his torso, she interlaced their fingers and brought her mouth down on his. She gave Darius all her love and passion, and prayed he understood the words she couldn’t say. They moved together, sweat-slicked flesh in sync, rising to new heights. Her nipples rasped over his damp chest hair, sending fiery fingers of sensation straight to her core.

  When the lack of oxygen became too great, she broke their kiss and they both struggled to breathe. Spurred on by rising desire, she began to ride him in earnest. Her breasts bounced as her strong legs pumped. She flattened her palms on his chest for balance. Restricted by the ties, Darius managed to power his hips to meet each of her thrusts.

  Her head fell back between her shoulders as the coil of pleasure tightened. Tendrils of her hair cascaded along her back and over her buttocks in a silken caress. She felt wild and free, abandoned. A sensual being ready to take flight.

  Not wanting to fly alone, Andi reached behind her, grabbed his thigh and used her arm to brace herself. The other hand went exploring between his legs until she cupped his sac in her palm, fingers extended to stroke the shallow indentation of his perineum.

  As night settled around them the room darkened and Andi flew apart, the convulsions of her pussy bringing him along with her. She collapsed atop his chest until her breathing settled. The blissful sensations began to diminish, replaced with misery and dread. Her time was up. She had to set him free and face the fallout. Darius would never be able to forgive her, not that she could blame him. Knowing she’d never hold him again created a horrible, empty ache in h
er chest.

  Darius was unable to make out the words she mumbled before placing the sweetest kiss over his heart. Andi sat up with his sated cock still clasped in the warmth of her body and pulled the trailing end of each necktie, releasing his bonds.

  She kept her gaze averted as she lifted away to untie his legs. His chest tightened when she stood next to the bed and fished his pager out of the discarded robe, placed it on the nightstand and backed away.

  He opened his mouth to say…something, what he wasn’t sure, but the pager began its frantic dance. Darius grabbed the phone first, hit the speed dial and read the message as the connection went through.

  “Hospital operator.”

  “This is Dr. Raines.”

  “Oh thank God. We’ve been paging you all—”

  “Yes, my pager just went off. Tell me about the patient.”

  The operator’s tone turned all business. “Eleven-year-old girl with a penetrating chest trauma from a car accident. She was ejected from the vehicle and impaled on a metal pole.”

  “Jesus.” He rubbed a hand over his head and glanced at Andreana. She leaned against the wall, eyes downcast. He wanted to hold her, try to reassure her that this would all get sorted out, but his feet refused to move. “Have the O.R. team standing by. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  He hung up, moved to the dresser and began pulling on clothes. “I have to go.” Not knowing what else to say, he remained silent as he grabbed his keys and ran out to the car. He didn’t worry about leaving her at his house. Andi would lock up when she left. Darius spent the drive trying to come up with a plausible excuse for not responding all day.

  Once at the hospital, there was no time to think about anything other than the patient. Her injuries were extensive, requiring his entire focus and skill. He assessed her condition, viewed the x-rays and had a brief conversation with her parents before heading to the O.R. to scrub in.

  His heart went out to the family. They told Darius all about their bright daughter, Melissa, who dreamed of one day being president. Her ideas for solving the homeless dilemma had won awards and she’d been invited to the White House to meet the president.

  The surgical team was in rare form, everyone all aflutter with details of the car accident. The family had been hit by a drunk driver. Melissa was thrown from the car when her seatbelt failed and was impaled on a piece of lead pipe sticking out of the ground where road work had been occurring. The pipe had been sawed off and left in place. It was his job to remove it, prevent her from bleeding out and repair the damage.

  He operated through the night and some of the things Andreana had told him fell into place. Darius knew that if he’d spent the day working on the cases he’d been called in for there was no way he’d have the stamina to handle this touch-and-go operation that required all of his skill. He also knew that while his peer, Dr. Nutley, was a damn fine surgeon, the girl’s injuries would have been beyond his capabilities, even if Nutley made it back from his trip in time. Hell, it pushed Darius’ abilities, and he’d specialized in cardiothoracic trauma.

  When they finished, several members of the team patted him on the back. A few colleagues, who had viewed part of the lengthy procedure from an observation suite, commended him on a job well done. He stumbled into the locker room sometime in the wee hours of the morning, asleep on his feet, to be confronted by the chief of surgery.

  “From what I hear, that little girl would not have stood a chance without you. Good job, Dr. Raines.”

  He nodded but didn’t speak, knowing the man wasn’t finished.

  “However, your success last night does not make up for failing to respond to your pages all day. Mind explaining why I had a general surgeon handling a vascular trauma, and I had to coax an adult trauma surgeon over here to sub for you?” Deep lines from stress creased the chief’s forehead. “And it better be good!”

  Darius shrugged and started talking without knowing exactly what he was going to say. He went totally on instinct and protected Andreana, leaving her out of the explanation, taking the blame on himself. No way would he throw her under the bus for her part in saving Melissa. “I fucked up, Martin. Forgot I was on call and went horseback riding. Soon as I got back home and got the messages from the hospital, I hauled ass in here.”

  The chief seemed to size up Darius, his expression skeptical. Finally, he rubbed at his temples and mumbled a creative stream of curses. “Jesus, Darius. If you weren’t such a damn good surgeon or if you’d fucked up before, I’d have to put you on probation. Since this all worked out, I’m going to let it slide, but I’m putting you on notice. Fuck up again and you’re history.”

  “Thanks, Martin. I’m really sorry. It won’t happen again.”

  He stood under the hot shower for a long time, trying to ease the ache in his shoulders. After dressing in a clean set of scrubs, Darius dictated his report for the patient’s chart and went to visit her in recovery. He’d just finished writing orders for her care as the girl’s big brown eyes opened and locked on him.

  She was weak and unable to talk much, but he sat by her bedside for a long time, holding her hand. Melissa truly was an amazing girl—bright and caring. Despite her grave injuries and long surgery, she was full of life. He could easily see her growing up to have a major impact on the world.

  Sometime just before dawn, Darius pulled into his driveway and carted his dragging butt inside. A hollow sense of emptiness hit him the minute he walked through the door. Suddenly, without Andreana here, it had become nothing more than some walls, a roof and furniture. When she’d left, all the life went with her.

  In reality, the life went out of him too. Darius fell into a rut, spending as much time working as possible. He took on extra cases and pulled more hours on call than his peers. Anything to stay busy so he didn’t have to think.

  Sitting in a corner of the doctors’ lounge a few weeks later, drinking stale coffee, he overheard a conversation that made him sit up and take notice.

  “I don’t feel comfortable putting any of the CT techs we’ve interviewed in Andi’s shift.”

  The other man agreed. “The overnight weekend shift requires an experienced tech who can function independently. Someone able to decide if additional imaging is required for a diagnosis.”

  The first man nodded. “I can’t tell you how many times Andi has pointed out something I completely missed when getting woke up in the middle of the night to read a scan. She is one hell of a tech. I don’t know how we’ll find anyone half as competent and willing to fight for the patients.”

  “I still can’t believe she put in her notice. She loves working here with the kids. It just doesn’t make any sense.”

  Darius heard more than he needed to figure out what was going on. Andreana was leaving the work she loved because of what had happened between them. He’d protected her position and she’d resigned anyway.

  He gathered up his paperwork and got out of there, but being at home was no better. He missed Andreana and all the crazy emotions she stirred within him. Hell, he hadn’t even wanted to change the sheets because they smelled like her.

  How fucking pathetic. He had to pull himself together and stop dwelling on how wonderful it had felt to make love to her. Had to stop replaying every touch and kiss in his mind. Had to stop walking around with a semi-hard-on from thinking about her. And he had to stop sitting here growling in frustration, damn it.

  A soft voice cut through his muddled thoughts. Darius looked up from his charts to find a gorgeous blonde woman talking to him from the doorway. He shot out of the chair and rubbed his eyes, hoping to clear away the figment of his imagination. When he opened his eyes again, heart pounding against his ribs, the woman was still there.

  “What the fuck?”

  “Hello, warrior.”

  Her soft voice sounded as if it came from a great distance and her body seemed to waver. She made him think of a hologram projection. Her long blonde hair floated around her as if she were outside and not withi
n the hospital corridor.

  “Who…wh-what?” he stuttered.

  “Shh…none of that is important.” Her expression turned stern. “I have done everything I can to open your eyes, but you refuse to follow your heart, Darius. I believe there is only one person you will listen to. Pay attention, warrior. Your time with her will be short.”

  The woman faded from view as another image began to coalesce out of empty air. As his dead wife appeared before his eyes, Darius’ legs gave out and he fell to the floor. “Sharon?”

  “Hello, my love.”

  His heart lodged in his throat, Darius sputtered and tried to talk to no avail. Sharon’s very real hand caressed his cheek, soothing him as she’d done so many times in the past.

  “I’ve been granted but a brief moment, so you must be quiet and listen.”

  He stared into her lovely face, dumbfounded.

  “The time for me to move on is long past, but I can’t. Not until you move on and begin to live again, love again.”

  He started to protest, but she placed her fingers over his lips.

  “It’s okay to move on, Darius. I want you to. Put aside the guilt. You didn’t fail me and the baby. There was no way you could have saved us. It was our time to go.”

  Darius knew his mouth hung open in shock, but he couldn’t do anything about it.

  “Knowing what you feel for Andreana brings me peace. I want you to go to her. Start a new life. You have my blessing.” She shot a quick glance over her shoulder and nodded before continuing. “I have to go now. Please, Darius. Stop running. Let her love you and love her in return.”

  The touch of her hand on his face began to fade along with the image. Darius cried out, feeling as if she were dying for a second time. “Sharon, no. Don’t go. Please…”

  “It’s time for you to live again, without me.”

  “Sharon, no. I can’t,” he sobbed, but it was too late. She faded into thin air.

  Darius woke up on his bed, gasping and reaching out. He rubbed a hand over his head and sighed with relief. “Jesus, what a dream. I’ve been working too damn hard.”